


Silver

by TheOtherView



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, knightinshiningarmor!au, plot heavy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-15 12:46:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12321369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOtherView/pseuds/TheOtherView
Summary: I've been summoned from the deep dark to fight a war I don't remember signing up for. Still, I didn't have better plans for eternity. (Carmilla is a freshly risen vampire, she doesn't remember her name, and she doesn't fully know her purpose. All she knows is that a certain captain of the guard has taken interest in her. And she's taken an interest right back.)





	1. Miracle

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to Silver. This is my first fic under this account. I'd appreciate comments of any kind, and kudos if you liked it! I'll be setting up a tumblr soon for oneshots and interaction with all you lovely readers! Please enjoy this short, but fun first chapter. I look forward to sharing more with you soon!

_ The battlefield was full of my brothers and sisters. Some gone before they could even begin to fight. The King’s army had spent as much time finding out weaknesses as they did envying our strengths. I pushed through the carnage. I watched soldiers all around me fall at my feet. Then, I saw her. Her armor shining in the sun just like the moment I first saw her.  _ __  
__  
_ “You’ll make it through this,” she said, always the optimist.  _ __  
__  
_ “She won’t stop until-”  _ __  
__  
_ “I know,” she said with a nod. “I’m ready.” _ __  
__  
_ “I love you.”  _ __  
__  
_ And that was all I could take. No time for her to respond. I simply lifted my sword, and swung _ .   
  
\----   
  
In the deep dark, I saw no evidence of a heaven, or a hell. I saw no bright light and I certainly wasn’t welcomed by a choir of angels. I saw only my regrets, flashes of a life I once knew. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten there, or what that place was.    
  
Then, Inanna came to me. Her sharp, slim smile let out soft greetings. Her palm extended, she asked me to come home. I didn’t know what that meant, but I had no other plans for my eternity.    
  
I awoke in a cave, desperately struggling to breathe, but found my lungs couldn’t be filled. I was covered in mud and filth. My skin was pale and my body was cold, as if I were made of the stone beneath me. I looked to my sides to find two women. One was Inanna, who had called me from the dark. Another was a woman in silver armor, staring at me in awe.    
  
“So it’s true,” she gasped. I tried to move, to speak, but I couldn’t.   
  
“Of course it is,” Inanna replied.   
  
“And you could do this for our army?” the woman in silver asked.   
  
“Unless you’ve already lost the war, I’m afraid it only works on the dead.”    
  
“Right,” the other woman nodded. She paused for a moment and tried not to stare at me. I remained focused on her. How out of place she looked. How her armor shined against the dim light of the fire. How her soft face looked like it should never see the brutality of war.    
  
“So then, what made you come to us with your uh-  __ talents ,” the woman in silver said. She looked back to Inanna and I followed her gaze.    
“We have a common enemy, captain. That little weasel next door forced me from my home, I hope to ensure it’s the last mistake he’ll ever make.”    
  
“And how many more like her do you have exactly?”    
  
“She’s the thirtieth,” Inanna said. “Most were travelers who couldn’t stand the harsh temperature of the mountains, poor things. We found this one close to the city.”   
  
“Please tell me she didn’t come from where I think she came from.”   
  
“Graveyard?” I managed. I didn’t have enough strength to ask all the questions I had, but I’d be damned if they’d talk about me as if I wasn’t there.    
  
“Well aren’t you talkative?” Inanna snapped. “Get her out of here,” she called to a man in rags. He came and scooped me into his arms. I tried to resist, but couldn’t muster the strength.    
  
“Now, we have much to discuss, Captain Hollis.”   
  
That was the last I heard of the conversation.    
  
\---   
  
I laid awake the entire night in the cave I was carried to. There were a few others around me, all of them sitting around a fire and laughing over stories of carnage. They all had strange teeth and pale skin like mine. I wondered if they shared my fate. I didn’t get to ask. I finally managed to sit myself up around dawn, after all of them were asleep except one.    
  
“Well, well, look at you, fresh meat,” the man said.    
  
“I have a name,” I snapped.    
  
“I’m sure you do. What is it?”    
  
“It’s-” I stopped. It started with an M, no C.    
  
“On the tip of your tongue isn’t it?”    
  
“I remember my own name,” I dismissed.    
  
“Most of us don’t,” he said. “It takes a while to remember everything.”   
  
“What’s yours then?”    
  
“Fig,” he said.    
  
“It’s a beautiful name,” I said dryly.    
  
“Compared to what you’ve got, I’d say it is.”    
  
He stood up to move closer and revealed a wooden leg. He limped over and grinned. His teeth were as strange as the others. His skin just as pale. He was older, it looked like. Grey hairs trying to conquer black ones.    
  
“And what are you supposed to be exactly?”    
  
“Well that’s a polite question.”   
  
“It’s an honest one.”   
  
“I’m the same as you, and them.”   
  
“A riddle,” I nodded.   
  
“A fact.”    
  
“You’re a lot of help.”   
  
“And you’re a lot of snark. Well, at Inanna will be glad to see you’ve made it through the night.”   
  
“And who is-”   
  
“Do you always have this many questions this early in the morning?”    
  
“I do when I’m pretty sure I was dead a few hours ago.”   
  
“A fair point.”   
  
“Will you two shut up?!” A man yelled from his bed of hay.    
  
“How about a tour?” Fig asked.    
  
“Better than laying around.”    
  
It took me a few minutes to stand, but I denied Fig’s help. I eventually made it off the ground and dusted myself off. I was still filthy from the night before. I began to walk toward the mouth of the cave, but Fig grabbed my arm.    
  
“You don’t wanna hit the sunlight.”   
  
“And why not?”    
  
“Look, if you wanna die again, far be it from me to stop you. But I figure you deserve a warning first.”   
  
I looked out at the sun over the hills. I’d never feel the sun on my face again. I didn’t know if that meant something to me or not at the time. I couldn’t remember the bulk of my life. I bowed my head and turned to follow Fig. He gave a weak smile and lead me into the caverns.    
  
\--   
  
Fig showed me how far the caves ran. It was an intricate maze of dead ends paired with twisted, endless caves. One cave had nothing but a single chair and a beautiful tapestry. Another was chock full of mismatch weapons and armor. We stumbled upon a cave even he hadn’t seen that was full of animal pelts and discarded meat.    
  
“It smells like death in here,” I said.    
  
“Is that really the joke you want to make right now?” he asked.    
  
It was still funny to me, but I couldn’t deny that he was right. We found a few more caves, some full of treasure, some full of nothing. The further we went, the more ominous echoes we heard all around us. These were explained by passing people. I was introduced to them, and they understood my lack of a name. Fig introduced them as brothers and sisters which put a pit in my stomach.   
  
“We’re all raised by Inanna,” he said. Some of them even called her Mother. I couldn’t even remember my family, let alone whether or not I could bare to replace them.    
  
We began to head back to where we started and he showed me a cave he described as being one of the most important. It was a meeting room for squad leaders. After a week you’re sorted into a squad. The Brutes robbed passing merchants of all sorts of treasures and loot. The Hunters brought home fresh food. The Scouts found new brothers and sisters to join our ranks.    
  
“That’s how you came here,” he said.    
  
“Will I ever remember where my real home is?”    
  
“You are home, like it or not.”    
  
I didn’t like the idea of living in a cave, but I also didn’t have any other options. I followed Fig back where we’d began and he suggested I get some rest. That idea, I liked very much.   
  
\--   
  
After resting the rest of the day, I awoke to food being served. Only, food meant a bowl full of red liquid. My new ‘family’ and I sat around a fire and I stared into the thick brew. It didn’t look like stew, or any sort of drink I’d ever seen. I gave it a sip and it was metallic in taste. I nearly vomited, but found I couldn’t help but drink it.    
  
It was only afterward that they told me what it was.   
  
\--   
  
After what was breakfast for most of the others I laid around in the cave, wondering what I should do with myself. I rather liked having no agenda, no schedule. But I knew I’d be called upon for a task. I fiddled with the idea for a while. To be a brute sounded fun, at least exciting. Being a hunter almost sounded interesting, but I didn’t want to face what I’d had to drink. Being a scout? I laughed at the thought. The others began to gather at the mouth of the cave and I heard harsh whispers and shouts.   
  
“Captain Hollis is back!”    
  
I perked my head up. The woman in silver. I walked over to the edge of the cave to watch with the others. Four soldiers in armor came up the cliffside. They walked as if nothing could weigh them down.    
  
“You’re standing,” Captain Hollis said.    
  
“I can even walk,” I said sarcastically. “You’ll see me at the circus performing tricks by next week.”   
  
She laughed awkwardly and shined with a bright smile.     
  
“Well I’m glad to see you’re okay. I look forward to working with you.”    
  
And that was how it started. I didn’t know what she wanted, or why she took an interest in me at all. But I wanted to know my purpose. After all, to bring me back from the dead, it had to be good.    
  
“Sure,” I said. She walked away, shaking hands with the rest of the crew.    
  
And that was how it started.    
The beginning of the end.    
I didn’t know anything, not my purpose, not even my name.    
I only knew that Captain Hollis was someone important.    
And I looked forward to working with her too.


	2. Trees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments! This chapter is a bit of set-up for the world and brings some more of our cherished Carmilla characters into play. I hope you enjoy it!

My first week went from a practical vacation to a grueling nightmare in two short days.    
  
At first, I was allowed to laze about the caves, or as they called it, recover. I was supposed to adjust to my new life. Drinking blood wasn’t easy for everyone to go along with, Fig had explained. I could see where others may have taken issue with the situation. My recovery ended quickly, however. I started taking runs through the caves to see how far I could go before collapsing. I had to unload all the hunter squad’s kills alone. I had to get quizzed on hypothetical situations, and every answer felt wrong. Still, it was almost bearable, until the third day.    
  
I walked with Fig and a woman named Perry down into the valley. We headed into the woods, far away from our so-called home. I wasn’t told a thing about why we were going there. I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be any sort of fun. I picked at dried blood that sat on my skin from the morning haul of kills and walked silently behind them.    
  
“Miss Perry is special in our ranks,” Fig whispered as he slowed to walk beside me. “She keeps the track of inventory, supervises the squads.”    
  
“It’s just Perry,” Perry said with a huff. “And I  _ can _ hear you.”    
  
“Sorry, Miss Perry.”    
  
I chuckled as she huffed once more. I admired the scenery around me as the trees grew thicker. Birds chirped above us, and their wings were vibrant against the dark treeline. The trees dripped old rain onto our shoulders and the forest shook ever so slightly at the passing winds. We followed Perry’s directions closely, though our eyes wandered. She stopped at a fallen oak and smiled.    
  
“Here we are,” she said happily.    
  
“Great, we’ll just put a bow on it and pretend it’s a real Christmas tree,” I replied.    
  
“It’s August,” Perry deadpanned. “Though, you  _ will _ be lifting this.”    
  
“I don’t think-”    
  
“You’re stronger than you realize,” Fig said.    
  
“The spell Inanna uses, however  _ unholy _ , is quite interesting,” Perry said, as if thinking aloud. “You should find yourself with supernatural abilities. Particularly strength and speed.”    
  
“Perry was part of the church,” Fig whispered. “She doesn’t take kindly to who we are, and denies what she is.”    
  
“Again, I can hear you!” Perry snapped.    
  
Okay, I thought, from lifting boars from a cart straight to a whole oak tree. Simple enough, or not. I tried to focus on the task at hand. I thought maybe I should feel some sort of power in my veins, some cliche glowing strength under my skin. Instead, I felt cold and in need of a nap.    
  
I stepped forward and shook my hands in preparation. Perry whipped a notebook from her satchel and nodded for me to begin. I took a deep breath and bent my knees, grabbing the bark and pulling with all my might.    
  
“You can do it,” Fig said.    
  
I lifted the tree and held it in my arms. I couldn’t believe it. A dead oak felt like a baby in my arms. I tossed it a few inches in front of me and huffed. My muscles cried in agony, but I smiled all the while.    
  
“Well, well, look at me,” I said triumphantly.    
  
“Very impressive,” Perry said. “You’ve exceeded expectations already, I can say that much.”    
  
Fig patted me on the back and grinned. “She learned everything she knows from me.”    
  
“Oh yeah? I’d bet I could snap your elbow in half in an arm wrestling competition.”   
  
“Don’t get too cocky, now. I’d snap yours before you’d even put your arm on the table.”   
  
“Now, now, both of you,” Perry said. “Your strength isn’t meant for playtime. We have a lot to do before Captain Hollis’s next visit.”    
  
“Captain Hollis?” I said. Her name was like a high-pitched whistle, and I was like a dog.    
  
“Yes, she’ll want to see how you’re doing, to finalize our place in the war.”    
  
“The fresh meat here has other plans, I think,” Fig laughed.    
  
“Shut up,” I bit back. “What’s this about a war? I heard something about it when I first woke up.”    
  
“No one’s told you?” Perry asked. I shook my head.    
  
“Well, it’s a long way back, I suppose I can explain.”    
  
We turned for the mountain and Perry began, in a very fairy tale fashion.    
  
“Once upon a time,” she started.    
  
She told me that King Wilson III of Silas had a very proud, powerful bloodline. They were men and women who had won wars in the past, and kept their kingdom thriving. Not a soul would dare cross Silas or its people. Instead it was a home for traders and a beacon of light for all those looking to start over. This changed when King Wilson III took power.    
  
“He doesn’t share the values of his family,” Perry explained gently.    
  
“He’s a fucking idiot,” Fig said.    
  
“So as it became apparent that the king was perhaps a bit easy to target, the neighboring kingdom of Lustig began to push Silas around.”    
  
“And the king just let them do it,” Fig continued.    
  
“Right,” Perry said. “So the people of Silas became infuriated and demanded the fall of Lustig.”    
  
“So the king got pushed around, then got pushed around again into a war?” I asked.    
  
“That pretty much sums it up,” Fig said. “It’s been two years of bloodshed, and they’re still going. Thing is, Silas is losing.”    
  
“Which is where we come in. We can each do the work of an entire squad of human soldiers.”    
  
“So Captain Hollis is here to recruit us for the war,” I said.    
  
“Exactly!” Perry said.    
  
I remained fairly quiet after that. Perry and Fig got into a talk on how the brute squad was doing as far as retrieving weapons. Then, into a talk about when the scouts would be bringing home more brothers and sisters. I stopped listening before they began talking about the hunters. I was going to war. A war I didn’t know anything about. A war I definitely didn’t remember signing up for.    
  
Maybe it was my purpose before the deep, dark. No, I remembered being sick. I had begun to remember someone there by my side. A silhouette in my memory who held my hand as the dark came for me. I couldn’t remember who she was. I wished I could. What was my life before the illness?    
  
Too many questions rattled around in my ears. I kept focused on the road ahead and followed Perry and Fig up the cliffside trails. Perry began to talk about my future place here. Maybe that’s what mattered now, not where I’d been, but where I was going.    
  
\--   
  
We made it back to the caves just in time for dinner. The sun was about to rise and I hadn’t had a sip of food all day. I was about to run for the pot when Perry grabbed me on the shoulder.    
  
“Good work today, Carmilla,” she said.    
  
“What?” I replied.    
  
“Good work?”    
  
“No, the other part.”    
  
“Carmilla? As in your name.”    
  
“That’s my name?”    
  
I had nothing. Not the silhouette by my side, not my life before my illness. But now, I had a name. Carmilla. Perry must have noticed the confused look on my face because she lit up with a certain sense of realization.    
  
“Most of us have to remember our names over time, some have spent a couple of years trying to remember a single thing about themselves. We found your name on your tombstone.”    
  
Of course. My grave was dug and I was brought here. The scouts must have been interested in something about me in particular. There must have been other graves, maybe more fresh, maybe stronger bloodlines. But there I was, just me, just Carmilla. A sickly, lost woman.   
  
“Thank you,” I said. “At least I have something.”   
  
“Of course,” Perry replied. “Captain Hollis will be here tomorrow, I’ll be sure to let her know you’re doing well.”    
  
“Tell her I said hi,” I said.    
  
“I will,” Perry said. “I need to turn in this report to Inanna.”    
  
“Good night,” I said.    
  
When she left, I sat down for dinner with some of the brothers. They talked about their kills of the day or their stolen glory. One man claimed to have stolen a sword made of solid gold. I envied their pride as I kept trying to pretend my dinner was anything other than what it was. That was how I’d get through it. It was rotten berry juice, or months old tomatoes. It almost worked, but never kept the aching in my stomach from coming.   
  
\--   
  
“Woahh,” I heard. “Look at the teeth!”    
  
My eyes began to open and I could see a shadow above me. A bulky, shining figure that seemed to loom. Before I could register what was happening, I felt a finger poke my teeth and my body went into action. I jolted up, grabbing the shadow by the throat and bringing it down to the ground. As I looked down at them, I realized they were human, and wore the same armor as Captain Hollis.    
  
“Wait! Let go!”    
  
I looked back down at the human to find them gasping for air, my hand still hard on their throat.    
  
“Let go!”    
  
I did. The human sat up and struggled for air yet laughed at the same time. “No way,” they said. “The reflexive capabilities, the sheer force, the teeth.”   
  
“What is your obsession with my teeth?”    
  
“What? I can’t find fangs extraordinary?”    
  
I looked up at the other human who stood with a face of shock and slight fear. It was Captain Hollis, in all her silver glory. She started to relax when she realized her friend was okay. I felt I should apologize, but at the same time, felt it was a lesson about poking around in people’s mouths while they slept.    
  
“This is Doctor LaFontaine, the first in a special research team on you,” Captain Hollis explained.    
  
“And it looks like I have a lot to learn. How do you feel about needles?” they asked.    
  
“They’re obviously very excited about their assignment, so please don’t kill them before they get to complete it,” the captain explained.    
  
“I’m Carmilla,” I said. “And I don’t think I like needles at all.”   
  
“That’s a shame,” LaFontaine frowned.    
  
“You remember your name,” Captain Hollis remarked.    
  
“Not exactly. The scouts found it on my tombstone,” I said.    
  
“Oh,” she said. “I forgot you were uh-”    
  
“Dead?”    
  
“No-”    
  
“How long were you dead, exactly?” LaFontaine asked.    
  
“Isn’t that a little harsh?” Captain Hollis asked.    
  
“A little,” I replied. “But since I did nearly kill you, you deserve to know that I don’t remember.”    
  
“What was death like?” They asked. They pulled a notebook from their satchel and grinned. I sighed.    
  
“Does everyone need to write down everything I do?”    
  
“You’ll have to understand, this is a medical miracle, I need to understand the science behind it.”   
  
Miracle. I thought of someone else who might believe in miracles, someone else with a notebook probably full of notes on me.    
  
“Why don’t you compare notes with Perry? She’s probably going to be able to tell you a lot more than I can,” I said with a sly smile.    
  
“Perry,” they said, writing it down in their book. “Got it.”   
  
“Fig!” I yelled.    
  
“What!?”    
  
“Can you,  _ please _ , take the good doctor to see Perry?”    
  
“Of course,” Fig said. “Follow me, doctor.”   
  
“I have questions for you too,” LaFontaine said. I cackled. He huffed.    
  
“You owe me one,” Fig said.    
  
“Whatever you say,” I replied. He took the doctor away into the caves and left me alone with the captain.    
  
“Sorry,” she said.    
  
“For what?”    
  
“I know the doctor can get a little excited,” she replied.    
  
“Well considering I’m a miracle in the flesh, I can’t blame them,” I replied with a grin.    
  
“Are you always so full of yourself?”    
  
“I drink a bit of my own ego every day with dinner,” I replied.    
  
“Well, anyway, would you like to go for a walk with me? I’ve got some time to kill while the doctor is working, and you know, we haven’t actually gotten to talk to each other. So it might be nice to get to know each other a bit.”    
  
Was she nervous? Well, I did almost kill her friend.    
  
“Sure, captain. Where would you like to go?”    
  
“My name is Laura, and you can pick.”   
  
“Alright, Laura, let’s go.”   
  
I didn’t know how I would feel about her, or her friend. I didn’t know what she would mean to me in the grand scheme of things. A walk was a walk, and there was nothing else to it. She was going to accompany me while I tried to clear the images in my mind. She was going to be a companion of sorts, to help me understand the world I was faced with.    
  
That’s all there would be.    
  
Or so I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is this mysterious silhouette? Who was Carmilla? And vampire!Perry? What is going on around here?!


	3. Wolves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, getting into a little action, a little gore, and a little fluff.

A walk in the park would describe something simple, something without difficulty.   
A walk in the valley below the mountain was a much different thing. I learned this the hard way.   
  
Laura and I made our way down the cliffs after we decided it would be nice to pretend we weren’t going to war for a while. We left the beaten path and strayed into the woods. We stayed close to each other and followed the patchy bits of moonlight through the trees. I tried to remember how Perry had taken me the night before. I couldn’t, entirely, but I figured if we stayed in a straight line getting back would be easy enough.  
  
“You know where we’re going right?” she asked. Damn, just when I thought my plan was foolproof.  
  
“Would you rather we left breadcrumbs to ensure we don’t lose our trail?”   
  
“I’m just saying, the forest isn’t always kind at night.”   
  
“If it bites, I’ll bite back,” I said.   
  
“Good. Inanna requires us to leave our weapons when we arrive, so I’m a little- nervous.”   
  
“I thought you wanted to come out here,” I said. I stopped in my tracks and gave her a sharp stare. She stopped, but wouldn’t look at me. She just looked around the forest, her eyes glossy with fear. I could smell it on her, I noticed. Another perk of being the new me, I supposed. I could practically see her shining armor shaking.   
  
“I do!” She said. “I do, I want to be out here with-” she paused, as if she shouldn’t say it. “I want to get to know you more and I doubt we’d get to do this anywhere else. I just don’t exactly prefer the nighttime.”   
  
I chuckled. So she was afraid of the dark. I waved for her to continue following me and I heard her armor hitting the forest floor. I could hear her harsh breathing as she tried to squeeze her armor through the thick brush. We made it to a clearing and I felt my mission was accomplished. Moonlight danced along the trees around us as their branches danced in the breeze. There was a large, fallen tree covered in moss and strange mushrooms. Fireflies danced around each other, as if they heard a song I couldn’t. I went over to sit on the log and patted the spot beside me.   
  
“Wow,” Laura said. She stood and stared into the sky. I looked up to find what must have been hundreds of stars that seemed to gather just for us. She finally sat beside me, her legs swinging, her soft face reflecting the moon’s light. She looked-  
  
“Stunning,” she said. She was talking about the stars, I had other things in mind. I looked back up to share her gaze.   
  
“The night’s not so bad, is it?” I asked.   
  
“Did you like it?”   
  
“Did I-” Oh, she meant before. I looked back up and remembered my first day with Fig. I’d never feel the sun again. I’d never frolic through a field of daffodils and sing a merry song. I’d never lay and ponder the shapes of the clouds in the afternoon sun. But looking at this, how small I felt under the stars’ gaze. How the moon seemed to smile because it knew I was lost, and it was my only guide home. Something about it told me everything was just fine.   
  
“I loved it,” I said confidently. A blur popped into my mind. A memory of a smaller me, sitting on a bed, looking out the window at the moon. Two voices calling for me. _  
__  
__“Go to bed now, little one,” one said._ _  
_ _  
_ _“It’s far past your bedtime, young lady,” the other said._ _  
_ _  
_ _“But I want to make a wish!”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“That only happens on fallen stars, sweetheart,” the first voice said, so soft, so sweet._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Awh, but mom.”_  
  
“Are you alright?”   
  
I snapped out of the memory to find my cheeks were wet. I wiped at them, finding blood on my hands. Great, I can smell fear and I cry _blood._ What else was I going to learn? I nodded to Laura quietly and tried to remind myself that I wasn’t on a long gone bed. I wasn’t looking out a lost window. I was here, with her, supposedly getting to know her better.   
  
But I remembered something, my parents perhaps. A whole memory for me to hold. I couldn’t just sweep it under the rug.   
  
“I think I remembered something, is all.”   
  
“Carmilla, that’s great!”   
  
“I don’t remember all of it, but it’s there,” I said.   
  
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.   
  
Hesitantly, I shook my head. My memory would be mine for now.   
“We can talk about something else,” I offered.   
  
“We don’t have to talk at all,” she said. That idea I liked very much at the time.   
  
“Why don’t you tell me about yourself,” I said. That idea, she seemed to like just as much.   
  
Laura told me quite a lot about herself. Her favorite colors, in order of her most favorite to least favorite. (There were twenty.) She told me about her colleagues, those in her squad and not. She told me that she only met LaFontaine the day before but that they were becoming fast friends.   
  
“They’re very funny for a doctor,” Laura explained.   
  
She told me about her previous work at the local charter. How she was the first to find any crime scene and be sure to report everything to the letter. How she was called a snoop by most of the city folk, but that she took it with pride. She told me about her life before the war, how it was mostly quiet, fairly vacant of anything but her work. She avoided the subject of family or friends as much as possible. I figured she was being polite.   
  
“And then the war came,” she started. “And I thought I had to do something to help.”  
  
She told me about her time in training, how hard the work was, how none if it really prepared you for battle. She told me that she’d be in the training yard hours after everyone else, hacking the training dummies to pieces.   
  
“It wasn’t an anger thing,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure that the war would end, and that I’d be there to see how many lives we could save.”   
  
“Right, the war,” I said.   
  
“I shouldn’t have brought it up,” she said. “I’m sorry, I know we agreed not to.”   
  
“You’ve seen the battles,” I said.   
  
“I have,” she replied.   
  
“And you think it’ll end if we join the fight?”   
  
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But what I do know is that I was sent here on official orders from the king. My hands are tied, I just have to hope for the best.”   
  
“You didn’t seem like the type to dabble in dark magic,” I said.   
  
“Yeah, definitely not.”   
  
“I’m a weapon,” I thought aloud. _I’m a weapon, made to not even the playing field, but destroy it._  
  
“I wouldn’t say that,” she said. “A sword is a weapon, big old hunk of steel. You’re a person. I mean sure you can’t remember much, but you can feel, and think, and if you want to spare someone’s life, you can. A sword doesn’t have that choice, or any choice for that matter.”   
  
I nodded. She was right in a way. A strange metaphor, but one I understood all the same.   
  
“We should head back,” I said.   
  
“Tell me at least one thing about you first?”   
  
“I’m pretty sure my favorite color was black,” I said.   
  
“That’s number 19 on my list!”   
  
“I remember,” I replied with a laugh.   
  
\--  
  
It was a straight path, a straight fucking path. How could anyone not be able to turn around and go back the way they came? I looked up at the tree line, looked through the brush as far as I could see. Nothing. No sign of the caves, no sign of home. Laura had asked questions all the while. Did I know where we were going, twice. Did I forget which way we came from, once. I listened to an owl’s calls above me. The loud hooting nearly had Laura shaking in her boots.   
  
“Relax, we’ll be okay,” I said.   
  
“You still haven’t assured me that we’re going the right way,” Laura said.   
  
“We probably are,” I replied.   
  
“ __Probably does not assure that we don’t die out here,” she said.   
  
“The hunters are probably out, maybe we’ll run into them,” I offered. She didn’t take it well.   
  
I heard a crunching to the left of us and stopped. Was it a footstep? Maybe the hunters did find us. I was going to celebrate the victory when I heard more snaps from all around us. Something was coming, and that thing did not feel friendly.   
  
“Did you hear that?” I asked.   
  
“Hear what!?” Laura yelped.   
  
“For a captain of the guard, you are not as brave as expected,” I retorted. The snaps grew closer and I could hear shuffling in the bushes. We were surrounded completely. I prepared myself for whatever was coming.   
  
“Uhm, Carm,” I heard Laura whisper. Then I heard a low growl. I turned to find Laura backing away from a full grown, snarling wolf. It had to have been half her size.   
  
“Laura, stay behind me,” I said.   
  
“Got it!”   
  
The wolf sprang forward, making a beeline for Laura. I sprang to the side, catching it with it’s mouth open, and snapped its jaw with my bare hands. I heard it whine as I dropped it to the ground. There was no time to celebrate the minor victory. More were coming, I heard their paws as if they were a growing stampede. I heard a crunch as Laura screamed. There was a wolf attached to her leg, gnawing at her armor. I grabbed it by the scruff and lifted with all my might, hurling it into a nearby tree. It dropped to the ground as three more came from the bushes.   
  
“Carm,” Laura said.   
  
“Not now,” I replied.   
  
“If we die-”   
  
“We won’t!”   
  
I ran toward the three wolves and they responded with a sprint of their own. What happened next, I can’t explain. One moment, I was standing, the next, I felt I had been cut in half. My bones felt as though they’d all been broken and moved. But my blood, my blood felt warm. I let out a low, earthy growl and realized I had- paws? I felt a sting go through my shoulder as a wolf bit down into my skin. I shook it off and went for its throat, tearing the flesh and leaving it to die. I went for the next, and it fled. The other, however, went straight for Laura.   
  
I chased it, but it had a head start on me. Laura prepared a fighting stance and kicked at it, hitting it right in the nose. I skidded to a stop, finding the wolf unconscious.   
  
“We did it!” She yelled victoriously. “Well, mostly you did it, and thank you and also, you’re a big black cat, huh?”   
  
I looked down at myself. Black fur matted with leaves and blood. Some of it my own, no doubt. Giant paws with gnarly, yellow claws. Then my vision started to blur. Was I dying again? I tried to move, to do anything, but couldn’t.  
  
“Carmilla?”   
  
That was the last thing I heard. As everything faded to black, I hoped that if I had to rise again, and I only remembered one thing.   
  
It would be her.  
  
  
\--  
  
“Of all the stupid, idiotic, reckless things you could do,” Perry yelled. “And with the captain of the guard no less! I can not believe you’d do this!”   
  
Perry had been saying this, in one way or another, over and over for close to an hour. She was pacing in circles, a rosary swinging in her hands.   
  
“I don’t even know how to punish you,” she said.   
  
“The bite should be more than enough,” LaFontaine said. They had bandaged my wound while I was out. They kept poking it and inspecting it to get a look at it. “Though it’s already close to healing, very interesting,” they said. They made more notes in their book.   
  
“You’re just lucky the hunters found you! And poor Captain Hollis, trying to carry you through the woods on her own while you were transformed. How did you even learn that?!”   
  
“I didn’t learn it until I did it,” I explained.   
  
Perry rattled as if all her anger had finally boiled over. It was the first thing I’d said to her the entire time. Not a single apology, not a word of regret. I’d enjoyed my time with the captain, and I wasn’t about to take it back.   
  
“You’re not to see her again,” Perry said.   
  
“What?” I asked.   
  
“Isn’t that a little much?” LaFontaine asked.   
  
“While I thank you for your help, doctor, your input isn’t necessary here,” Perry snapped.   
  
“I’ll be quiet then, got it,” the doctor nodded.   
  
“You can’t tell me that I can’t see her again,” I barked.   
  
“I can and I am,” Perry said. Her chin was high, her sense of power clear. She was scared, I could smell it again. That salty, sweaty smell. She was scared that we were dead that night. She was scared the deal with the king would be off when the captain showed up dead.   
  
She was scared that I’d rebel.   
  
“You won’t be talking to the captain unless it’s on official business. She’ll be working with Fig on any future endeavors and we will keep a close eye on you. Understood?”   
  
I had no choice but to nod.  
  
That was that. Perry stomped her foot and motioned for the doctor to follow. I heard her all the while, yelling about my nerve, the fear she’d had, the amount of stress she’d gone through. I only wished I could have told her she had no idea what fear meant at the time. I looked to my side where the doctor had been sitting to find a note. 

  
‘Perry wouldn’t let you have this if she saw it, turn it over - LaF’ was written in horrible handwriting. I did as the note said and found a longer, sweeter note, in perfect script.    
  
‘Carmilla,    
  
I can’t think of a better time to call a person ‘friend’ other than nearly dying at their side. I can’t thank you enough for saving me, and I wish I could stay until you’re well. I have to get back to the city, but I’ll be leaving the doctor to watch over you. I’ll see you at my next visit, I hope, and I’ll get to learn more about you.    
  
In a friendly sense, I mean.    
  
Your friend,    
Laura.’    
  
I clutched the note in my hand before stuffing it under my bed roll. I spent the rest of the day in that bed, wondering how I could save her and still feel like she’d died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh. Kudos and comments appreciated. <3


End file.
